


Alright

by LurkerNoLonger



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: A little angst?, Between S2 and S3, Drabble, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Missing Scene, bed sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 18:52:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19836406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LurkerNoLonger/pseuds/LurkerNoLonger
Summary: It's raining outside, and Rae finds herself surprisingly comfortable in Finn's bed.





	Alright

**Author's Note:**

> This is neither the continuation of _Siren_ , or the one shot I mentioned. Just a short little thing I wrote in one sitting to get back in front of the keyboard. This could easily live in that glorious gap between S2 and S(hit)3, when they were together and happy and everything was wonderful. This was meant to be cute, but then it turned into talking about real feelings. Oops.
> 
> Thank you to the encouraging readers who have asked after the aforementioned WIPs. They're coming, I promise. In fact I've added another. It's Christmas themed, so let's hope it's done by December. No title yet, but see the end notes for a cheeky preview summary!

Rae rarely felt alright. She was constantly on edge, waiting for the next insult, the next lonely night, the next urge to reach for packets or pocket knives. Even when she was alone, there was always a nagging somewhere in the background of her mind. That’s why it’s dumbfounding that the most comfortable she’s felt in...well, forever is here of all places.

Tucked in the duvet and arms of Finn Nelson.

They had plans to meet the gang at the park, but last minute it had rained and instead Finn had happily dragged her inside and up to his room. The smirking smile on his face made her question if he’d somehow planned this. Honestly, she wouldn’t put it past him to be in cahoots with Mother Nature, both being Gods and all.

They’d done what they always did, laid around listening to records, sipping beers. Minimal conversation and, once they started, maximum touching. Well, as much touching allowed with a cracked open door and Gary downstairs. A few kisses and next thing Rae knew she was sprawled on his bed, trainer-less and one shirt layer lighter, with zero memory of how she got there. That was the quality of Finn’s kisses, mind emptying good.

After a heavy make-out they’d both naturally pulled away and now they were kind of just...looking at each other. Fond, breath mingling, observing. The kind she wouldn’t normally allow. She was actually starting to feel self conscious when Finn’s hand moved from her waist, higher until he was tracing the curve of her shoulder, the line of her collarbone. She followed his eyes, as his followed his finger on it’s journey. Tender, slow, gentle.

He was always gentle with her. Always soft and soothing, making sure she was okay before showing her the only roughness he knew: the drag of tongue on lips, tongue on tongue, tongue on skin. But beyond that, beyond all the delicious, delicious touching, Finn got to the real meat of her.

It happened a lot actually; them alone, searching each other. She’d catch him looking, staring really, examining her with a reverence so strong she couldn’t even deny it to herself. And in those looks, she could almost see all the bits she thought were ugly beautifully reflected in his eyes. He’d pause over a freckle or a mole, his brow scrunching as if he was committing it to memory. He’d frown at a scar, stroking the lines, while he stirred something beneath the skin he swayed. And it hurt; actually physically painful to have him look past her walls, through her armoured layers of clothes and flesh. Down, down, and deeper still, to all the vulnerable parts where her fears and worries are kept locked away so no one could press upon the permanent bruises. Painful because she’d never known such tenderness to ever think it capable towards her, and she could never bear to lose it.

Finn looked at her like she mattered, touched her like she was good, held her like she was overflowingly worthy of all the emotion she was finally realizing he felt. It was completely unbelievable, but those eyes, those hands, that utterly perfect mouth, were very convincing. Like now, Finn looked…awed. Lost in it, like he forgot that she could see him. And she was glad, because maybe then he wouldn’t see her burgeoning tears. Tears for these tiny touches that she cherished most.

Yes, snogging was brilliant. And yeah, watering her lady garden was earth (and ovary) shattering. In all her fantasies they always kissed, and they always had sex. But her mind could never being to conjure up these moments. This careful caring. That was the real dream, because she never allowed herself to fantasize about this. About being loved.

Suddenly her heart feels as blurry as her eyes, and she loses track of his hands until they’re on her face, touching her cheek, her bottom lip.

“Alright, girl?”

“Yeah. Yeah...I’m alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone else feel/think like this? That it is so easy to lust, to talk about what you want to do with a person physically but much more difficult to think about letting someone in emotionally? That just because you snog and sex doesn’t mean you’re loved and cherished? No? Just me and Rae? Okay. 
> 
> Sneak peek summary, hopefully coming Christmas 2019!:  
> It's the Yuletide season, and Nan is expecting Finn over for the holidays with his girlfriend Rae. Only one problem: they've been broken up for weeks.


End file.
